Co-sleeping: Sleeping In Bed With Your Toddler

Co-sleeping or sleeping in bed with your toddler can combat the effects of lack of sleep for some families. You may have been sleeping with your child since he was a baby and so sleeping with him as he grows is a natural progression. Or perhaps sleeping in bed with your toddler is new to you and you want to give it a try.

Instead of going through any sleep training and likely crying you may want to "go with the flow" and wait until your child sleeps through when he's ready naturally. One idea is that as your child becomes older he will feel confident to sleep on his own and going to sleep in his own bed and bedroom will come when he has reached that developmental stage.

Here's some different methods of co-sleeping to help you decide what suits you:

1) Your child starts off in the family bed and you lie down next to him whilst he falls asleep. When he is asleep you leave the room and return when you go to bed yourself.

2) Your toddler starts sleeping in his own bed with you lying down to sleep next to them. In the middle of the night, if your child wakes you sleep the rest of the night with your child. Or you go back to your own bed - if you are still awake!

3) Your child starts off in his own bed and then if he wakes he comes into your bed and you sleep together.

4) Your child starts off in his own bed and you have a ready bed made up next to your bed in your bedroom. Then if he wakes in the middle of the night he goes into the ready bed - so not strictly co-sleeping but almost.

If co-sleeping appeals to you then you need to have a few things in place to make it work

1) You need a big bed!
A King size bed is a must or if you have a large enough bedroom you can make a super king-size bed by putting a single bed next to the double bed.

2) Separate duvets
This will save someone not having enough duvet and being woken by the cold. If your toddler is sleeping on the edge of the bed then he could have a separate lighter tog duvet.

3) Toddler bed rail
Some families like their toddler in between them. Others prefer to have their toddler on the side of their bed. If this is the case for you then you may need a toddler bed rail in place to stop your toddler falling out of bed in the middle of the night.

4) Mattress Protector
If you are sleeping with your toddler in your bed be sure to invest in a mattress protector or pad. Any accidents in the middle of the night will mean a whole new bedding set for you, so keep the mattress safe at least.

Other points to consider
Working parents may prefer to co-sleep because they are able to spend time cuddling their child at bedtime and so feel more connected with them. Some friends or relatives may disapprove sharing your bed with your child but you need to do what's right for you and your family. It's a very personal decision.

You may find that your toddler wants to sleep right across you, on top of you or in an uncomfortable position for you. Since you need a good night's sleep too you need to explain during the day, simply and calmly, that they have to sleep next to you not on you. You may need to suggest that they bring in their favourite teddy or something to cuddle.

If you are co-sleeping you may actually be waking up your toddler by moving in the bed, snoring, getting up to go the bathroom, etc. Some toddlers prefer their own space and simply do not want to sleep in your bed.

Alternatively, you may really want to co-sleep but if your toddler wriggles, kicks or takes up most of the bed then co-sleeping may not work for you. You'll end up not sleeping well and coping with the effects of lack of sleep the next day will be hard work for you all. You may then need to help your toddler to sleep in his own bed so that you all get a good night's sleep. Or they can sleep on a mattress or ready bed in your room.

If you are sharing your bed with your child you may need to be careful that it does not interfere with your relationship with your partner, as well as your sleep! Intimate times with your partner are important and you need time and space together alone.