Four Basic Parenting Styles

There are different theories to parenting and here we explain the four basic parenting styles as proposed by Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin (1983). Maccoby and Martin extended the 3 parenting styles which Diana Baumrind (1973) put forward.

As part of the four basic parenting styles Macoby and Martin emphasized two crucial dimensions to parenting: the level of responsiveness and secondly, the level of control.

1. A high level of responsiveness and a high level of control = Authoritative, reciprocal parenting style

2. A high level of responsiveness and a low level of control = Indulgent, permissive parenting style

3. A low level of responsiveness and a high level of control = Authoritarian, power assertive parenting style

4. A low level of responsiveness and a high level of control = Neglecting, uninvolved parenting style

The Authoritative Parenting Style

In this style parents are both warm and also controlling to some degree. Authoriative parents discipline their children if they misbehave but tend to use mild punishments (milder than authoritarian parents). Children brought up by authoriative parents show higher self-esteem, are more independent, are more likely to comply with their parents requests and can also show more altrusitve beaviour. They also achieve better results at school.

The Permissive Parenting Style

Parents are indulgent and give permission for children to behave as they wish. Parents may be warm and tolerant but do not show much authority. Children with permissive parents do slightly less well in school in adolescence and are likely to be more aggressive - as earlier aggressive behaviour has not been controlled by parents at an earlier age. Children can also be more immature than their peers and are less likely to take responsibility.

The Authoritarian Parenting Style

The Authoritarian parenting style is when parents are highly demanding of their children but are unresponsive to their children. The parents would tend to emphasize obedience, authority and order and expect rules to be followed without explanation. The household is very strict.

According to Baumrind (1991) and Maccoby and Martin (1983) children with Authoritarian Parents tend to do less well in school, are typically less skilled than their peers and have lower self-esteem. Children can appear sub-dued or highly aggressive. The children's wishes have not been listened to nor valued.

The Neglecting Parent

If parents neglect or are uninvolved with their children, the children shows disturbances in their relationships with peers and adults for many years. They tend to be more impulsive, anti-social and do not achieve well at school.

However, parenting doesn't usually follow one style consistently and parenting can change according to the parents and child's temperament and situation. If a parent is stressed for some time they are more likely to be authoritarian but their usual style might be authoritative.

Parenting doesn't come with a rule book and an instruction manual for different models of children, and so many parents create their own style based on the parenting they received, their culture and their and their children's temperaments. And the style changes, sometimes through trial and error, sometimes through simply talking to other parents, seeking help and advice. This is most likely to happen when by reflecting on their parenting behaviours work and what doesn't.

It's useful to know about the four basic parenting styles simply as a way to reflect on the types of parenting styles you might unknowingly be adopting. Being aware of your parenting style may lead you to question whether you are doing the right thing or whether you want to try something else.

There are many more theories on parenting and it's worth finding out more to help you be a happier and more effective parent and ultimately for your children to be happier too. Learning about the four basic parenting styles is the beginning.

Whether you are parenting a toddler, a school child or a teenager, it's worth taking a step back and taking time to reflect on how things are going so that you can adapt and make any changes that you feel necessary.