What's Your Parenting Style?

The parenting style that you use to raise your children will have a direct influence on their development, outcomes in life and your relationship with your child.

The section is divided into easily readable chunks of information and we give examples of each style:

• Baumrind's 3 Parenting Styles
• Four Basic Parenting Ways
• Authoritarian Parenting
• Authoritative Parenting
• Permissive Parenting
• Parenting Style Quiz

We as parents have huge influence on our children and are responsible for the way they behave and their development to a very large degree. Generally parents want their children and themselves to be happy and for life to be manageable and controllable.

The psychologist, Diana Baumrind, carried out research into the way children were brought up and how it impacted their ability to cope at school, in social situations, their higher education and their work situation. The links above explain the different styles of parenting and you may find that you use all styles yet one is predominant.

Parenting can be challenging and takes up a lot of energy! Yet, if you channel the energy in the most balanced way (see the authoritative parenting style) then your efforts will have great rewards for you and your child. If you channel your energy in a more easy-come, easy-go manner (the permissive parenting style) then you and your child are likely to have difficulties at a later age and if you exert too much energy into controlling your child (the authoritarian parenting style), again, there will be negative consequences.

Parenting is a two way relationship (at least!) and develops from the time your baby is born. The toddler years are crucial in your child developing a sense of being their own little person and in exploring how their world functions. These years have a huge impact on the way your child will understand how they fit into the world and how they are valued by other people.

Parenting toddlers is therefore crucial. Parenting in the toddlers years is also both energy and time consuming - your toddler has developed into a running, climbing, talking explorer. Sleep training, potty training are major milestones. Your toddler can do things and wants to do things!

As a parent you need to know how to respond to your toddler. To rely on only your natural instincts could mean that you are missing out on the opportunities to react differently, perhaps more positively, to your toddler. Also, simply by reading a little on different parenting styles you might pick up on the odd technique or behaviour that you had not been aware of before. And this awareness will help you nurture and care for your child perhaps in a more loving or tolerant way.

The mental welfare of your child is so important. The physical welfare is in a way perhaps more easily achieved - food, clothing, a home. But it's often the mental welfare that will profoundly effect your child's life and confidence. And this is mainly down to the way that they are parented.

Children need to be loved and accepted for who they are. Even if you know you love them, you also need to show them that you love them, through being interested in their ideas, activities, and having active fun with them. Sometimes this does not come easily to adults - and if that's the case (as it is for most parents at some points) then make the step of joining in and showing some interest and care in what your child is doing. See the reaction you get. It's often like a spiral - you interact, your child loves it and beams back at you, you interact some more and a loving bond is created which can become stronger and stronger.

The parenting style that you adopt will change several times a day but it's the overall style that you adopt that is crucial. It's worth remembering that your parenting style will effect your child behaviourally, socially, academically and will effect their confidence and their work prospects as an adult.

Take the time to do a little reading and let it sink in so that you can use that information to be able to deal with difficult situations in a manner that will help your child in their lifelong development.