The Permissive Parenting Style

The permissive parenting style is one of the classic 3 parenting styles as outlined by the researcher Diana Baumrind in 1966/7.

The type of parenting style you adopt has a direct effect on the development of your child. Here we look at permissive parenting, what it is and what it means for you and your child.

Parenting can be challenging, overwhelming and demanding. The rewards are immense of course although the responsibility that new parents suddenly find themselves in can be daunting. Having responsibility for your children continues with you for years until your children are self-governing and grown up.

Permissive parenting is when a parent basically permits their child to do as they like, without boundaries, parental demands or limitations. If you have a permissive style you may believe that your child will learn as he goes along, he will learn from his mistakes, that's his young and you don't want to spoil his fun. You don't want conflict, you just want your child to be happy.

As a result, your child will rarely be expected to help with household chores such as clearing his toys away or getting dressed himself.

There won't be many rules in a permissive household and they are not generally enforced - with the permissive style you want your child to be free and do as they wish. Your child's behaviour, good or bad, is accepted and your child's behaviour may be put down simply to your child having a wilful character.

As your child's free behaviour continues the parents ability to deal with difficult behaviour is lessened as neither child nor parent are used to enforcing, or keeping, any boundaries.

A child who has been brought up with permissive parent may show creative flair. However, this type of parenting can also cause major behavioural problems in the later years. Research shows that children of permissive parenting are often unruly, lack discipline, have poor social skills, poor reasoning skills, and this in turn, effects their schooling and social interaction as an adult. They may find it difficult to stay within boundaries at school or in a work place.

Examples of the permissive style:

You are in the park and your child comes up and throws his new coat on the ground near you. You pick up the coat and do not say anything to your child about not throwing his coat on the ground.

It's time for bed and your child is watching TV. Even though you have let him know that he had 5 more minutes of TV he does not turn the TV off when you ask him. You let him watch the rest of the programme and he goes to bed late.

It's lunch time. Your son refuses to eat his main course and goes straight onto pudding and he eventually has three helpings.

Sometimes you will be permissively parenting and you'll flip between the different styles. It's important to be aware of the permissive style as if you feel you are permissively parenting too much and you recognise the unruly behaviours in your child then you may want to look into the other styles of parenting so that you can change your relationship with your child.

Making changes can be daunting but it might be helpful to remember that children value structure, boundaries and your positive attention. You might want to have a look at the authoritative parenting style to give you new ideas on parenting.