Toddler Tantrums At Bedtime

At the end of the day, everyone is often tired and so having any toddler tantrums at bedtime is hard to deal with. Here we want to suggest ways to avoid toddler temper tantrums as well as look at the different ways of handling temper tantrums.

Toddler tantrums at bedtime happen for different reasons and approaches how to handle a tantrum will depend on the situation and the cause of the toddler tantrum. Common reasons for tantrums are tiredness, frustration, attention seeking and struggling for power and independence.

When your child is tired the smallest mishap might suddenly seem too much for him to cope with and he has a temper tantrum. If this has happened you need to avoid over tiredness as much as possible.

If you know that a certain day will be long, plan to go through your usual bedtime routine in a gentle, quiet but short way. Avoid joking or fun activities and make the process very simple. Keep the noise levels down so that your child is not overwhelmed.

Toddler tantrums at bedtime can sometimes be caused by your toddler wanting more independence and power. Perhaps he simply doesn't want to wear the pyjamas he's supposed to wearing.

One way to handle this is to let him have a choice of what to wear in bed, so you could say, "Do you want to wear the red or the blue pyjamas tonight". Giving him a small choice will mean that he's not wearing something new every night and will give your toddler some control over what he wants. We have lots more tips at Handling Temper Tantrums

With stories, agree how many stories you are going to have, so you could say, "Would you like 2 or 3 stories tonight?" and stick to it. If your toddler has a tantrum because you say no to extra story, do not give in to an extra story as this will show that having a tantrum is the perfect way to get what he wants.

If your toddler wants an extra story you can say no, but we can read it tomorrow. In this way, you are maintaining a boundary AND your toddler can feel that he has some independence and power too.

Likewise, you can give him a simple choice of what story to have. Do not offer a big choice as this could frustrate or overwhelm him, which then could spark off a tantrum.

If you toddler has a tantrum when you leave his bedroom, he may be suffering from separation anxiety. Separating from you is a real issue for him and he may feel terrified at the thought of being in the dark by himself.

Handling temper tantrums of this nature requires a lot of patience and stamina whilst you help your toddler learn that he safe by himself. One way of dealing with this anxiety is for you to gradually show him how to comfort himself.

Let him choose a comforting object for him to sleep with, sing with him and encourage that he sing a song to himself when you go, stay with him whilst he gets used to the dimmed light (let him have a night light - the room doesn't have to be completely dark).

Speak to your toddler about how he feels and let him know that you know he wants you to stay. Reassure him that you are nearby and that you will check up on him. During the day show him how your baby monitor works so he knows that you can hear him in case he needs you. When you do leave him at night organise to do things near his bedroom so that he can hear you nearby and pottering around.

Handling toddler tantrums at bedtime is no easy task and we have dedicated another page to just this problem at Handling Temper Tantrums